More Bra Nonsense

Okay, I recently had to buy some new bras. Every so often I can't put it off any longer, and I have to take the plunge. In an effort to make it less of an ordeal, I carefully read the measuring instructions, in order to find my 'correct' size.

I seldom see that much ridiculous nonsense in one place.

Band Size. When I was young, the instructions were, measure around the rib cage, up under the breasts, and then add 5 inches, if that gets you an even number, or up to 6 inches, to get to an even number. That was your 'band' size. I never understood why the manufacturers couldn't just use the actual measurement around the ribs as a woman's 'band size', but they didn't.

Since then, I've seen instructions that the woman should measure around her chest, up under her armpits and over her breasts. This number actually was her 'band size', even though it had nothing to do with the band that sits around her ribs. This measurement can change from minute to minute, too, as it is not actually measuring a straight line around a woman; it's considerably lower in the back than it is in front.

This time, I was told to measure my rib cage again, but I only needed to add 3 inches, up to 4. I don't mind them changing how they measure for a bra, but adding 3-4 inches doesn't make any more sense than adding 5-6.

Cup Size. The cup size – the letter component of a bra's size – is determined by how much larger is the measurement around the body at the fullest part of the breasts compared to the 'band size'. If the numbers are the same, you're a B cup; smaller and you're an A or AA; larger and you're a C, D…all the way up to H. The instructions for getting this measurement haven't changed: "Wearing a well-fitting bra, measure around…." What? If I had a bra that fit well, why wouldn't I just check the label to see what size it is? Seems a lot simpler than all this rigmarole.

And after all this, you still don't know what size you are. Because in the end, this time I ignored my results of following the instructions and ordered the same size I bought last time, even though it wasn't the size the instructions said I took. They fit just fine.