A Low-High Week of Recovery

I'm glad I decided to give myself at least another week to recuperate from surgery before taking on any more activities in my search for 'youth'. The week has been very up and down.

Monday - When physical therapy came to my home, she marveled at how well I was walking, graduated me from laying down & sitting down exercises to sitting up and standing up exercises. Yea for me! My flexibility measured from 3 degrees to 98 degrees. Almost straight to past a right angle. Another yea!

Tuesday - I felt stiff. The muscles in my 'new' knee just didn't want to bend, and I knew I wasn't walking as well as I had been, but didn't know what I'd done 'wrong'.

Wednesday - PT came and confirmed that my knee was not bending much because it was so swollen from water retention. My flexibility began at 7 degrees--we didn't go any further than that, it was so depressing. After helping me through a workout, she piled pillows and folded blankets on my bed and told me to lay down at least twice a day for an hour with my legs propped up on that stack. A miserable day, but hopefully it would not keep going like that much longer.

Thursday - I knew as soon as I woke up that this was my 'Magic Depression' day. The way I understand it, at some point after surgery, all the left-over operating meds finally drain out of your body, and that change in chemistry makes you severely depressed. This was the day to check in with my General Practitioner, and I groused my way through that office visit. It's a good thing my doc has a sense of humor and great patience with his patients. I apparently had not picked up any nasty germs for him to attend to, so I was sent home. I kept telling my son I just wanted to 'punch out the day and go to bed'. I did spend quite a bit of time in bed - feet properly raised - but I never figured out how to punch the day out.

Friday - much better! Pain was pretty negligible, legs were the proper size. When PT came, my flexibility went from 2 degrees to 104 degrees! Yea for me!. The exercises were tiring, but I managed to up the number of repetitions I did, plus add a new exercise. Yea for me again! I was feeling so good that when the phone rang, and the hand unit wasn't at my desk, I got up and walked to the next room to answer it - without my walker! I managed it, but doing it wore me out so much, I went to bed around 7:30 that night. I didn't feel a bit guilty about it, because I'm still recovering.

I still have about a week before I get my staples removed, and we don't know how much more physical therapy I'll need, but I should be able to drive after that. Yipee! Now I can finally go to the store and get that bag of potatoes we haven't had these past 2 weeks.

Now that I'm through the major part of recovery, what do I tackle this week? Something that won't demand a lot of my time, because I'm still doing PT, still progressing towards full strength. I'm going to concentrate on brushing my teeth, something I usually forget more often than I remember.

What's Next?

Colored my hair. Check.

Got my knee replaced. Check.

What's the next thing for me to do in my Battle Against Age?

It's a long list, with lots of things for me to do, new habits to establish. Which one should I do now?

Actually, this past week has been a bit of a wake-up for me. I've known for a long time that you can't just wave a majic wand and everything is changed, your life is now hunkey-dorey. It takes weeks of actively deciding to do one thing, day after day, before doing that thing becomes a habit. And once you have achieved that habit, you can start to establish the next habit you want.

So I've had a busy week. Surgery on Monday, return home on Thursday, and I'm still on pain meds, still need help from my family for even the littlest things, like putting ice around my leg, helping me get socks on.

In my few moments of being fairly lucid this past week, I pondered what I could tackle next week. The entire household is kind of like standing on its head, and I want to add one more complication to it? Am I TRYING to fail?

No, I'm not. And there's no rule that says I have to tackle something new if I'm not finished with something else. Yes, the surgery is done, but my body is still recuperating. I check in with doctors on the 13th, the 12th and the 15th. In the meantime, I need to concentrate on my physical therapy, my spirits and just getting myself back to healthy. A healthy me will be so much better than the pre-surgery me or the still-recovering me.

That's my chore for the next week, and probably longer than that; to continue to recover. Because there are no magic wands, and some chores cannot be accomplished in a week or less.

Sick and Tired

Call me Tumie.

Might as well, my tummy is so large, I look 10 1/2 or 12 months pregnant. I am 60 years old, 5'2", 260 pounds, and about to get my 2nd knee replaced because there is no cartilage left in it. Having made those arrangements for the surgery, I went out of town for most of May, trying to relax for a time rather than get nervous waiting.

While at that vacation resort, it didn't take me long to realize I was unhappy with myself. Each glance in a mirror revealed a morbidly obese old woman, whose brown hair was drab and revealing quite a bit of gray. My face was developing jowls and tiny wrinkles that would not stay tiny for long.

I should have a lot more useful and fun years left. My grandmother lived to 99. But I wasn't going to get those years if I didn't address these problems I saw in myself. What was I going to do?

The first thing I did was color my hair. That was an immediate change that I could see with every glance at the mirror, and served as a promise to myself that other changes were under way, changes that would not be visible right away.

Other things I did:

1. Started going to the resort pool and working out. A lot of walking back and forth in chest-high water, which relieved a lot of the weight bearing down on my knees and also offered resistance. By the time I left for the trip home, I could feel the difference in how far I could walk before I needed to rest.

2. I read a fitness magazine, which I was afraid would make me even more depressed about my condition. But I did find a few snippets of things I could do to help my body. For instance, for each pound I weigh, I should be drinking an ounce of water each day. 260 pounds, 260 ounces, which is just over 2 gallons, which I guarantee you I have not been getting.

3. When I went to my pre-surgery physical, I discovered my doctor's office had a dietician in the same building, so I made an appointment that very day. She's going to help me figure out how to 'balance' my diet, and once I get the okay to go to the gym again, we'll tackle adding exercise to my routine.

So many of these processes take a long time to see any progress. I don't expect miracles, but by keeping this blog as a trail of what I have done, I'm hoping it will help me stay on the path. If my tale of a (probably rocky) trail to better health helps others face their issues, that would be the icing on my (imaginary) cake.

Reality or Just Cheap?

Years ago, we changed the channel rather than watch the contest/reality shows that were showing up on our television: Survivor and American Idol are the two that come to mind. I can remember being hunched over my desk at work, trying my hardest not to roll my eyes as co-workers jabbered about ‘Tony from Texas and his wonderful voice’ or ‘Can you believe how Anna betrayed her own team?’ While I thought it wonderful that some good voices got a chance to be discovered, I don’t enjoy listening to ‘judges’ being cruel to the contestants. Nor do I enjoy watching greedy people doing whatever they think will get them the prize.

Those shows were followed by others, so many I can’t hope to name them all. Over the years, it seems some television stations have gone ‘all reality, all the time’. We frequently find ourselves watching videos in the evenings, rather than actual television.

We’ve decided that ‘reality’ shows must be cheaper to produce than the shows that have a plot. Well, it stands to reason, right? They don’t have to pay a writer to come up with a script, they don’t need actors (although they may have a few judges to pay.) Heck, they may not even need a director, just some camera people to follow the contestants around, and someone to edit the vast amount of video to fit the time slot.

Sometimes I do watch a few of these later generation shows, if the premise is interesting and the judges critique rather than demean. But the few I might be willing to watch will never be as interesting to me as a good plot with interesting characters.

It Doesn't Work?

Everybody says that negative campaigns don’t work. And yet, it seems like every campaign eventually devolves to a series of name-calling and mud-slinging.

Everybody I know hopes that their guy won’t engage in such stupidity … but they do. Instead of actually explaining HOW they will do whatever they’ve promised to do, or exactly WHAT they think needs to change, and how it will effect Average Joe, they tell you what their opponent has done that they think is wrong. And if they can’t find enough of those types of things to tell you about, they will twist the facts or even make them up.

If negative campaigns don’t work, why do they do it? I suspect because negative ads DO work. If candidate A can throw enough dirt onto candidate B, then A will look better, especially since most voters have no idea what is true and what is not. I like that some of the news programs have started to ‘fact check’ things the presidential candidates say, but what about the more local candidates?

Even when the fact checkers say, “This statement by candidate A is absolutely wrong,” candidate A and his campaign continue to repeat it, over and over again, as if saying it a few hundred times will make it true. It doesn’t. But by repeating it that many times, they can drill it into people’s minds that it is true.

I hate negative campaigns. They don’t give me any INFORMATION to allow me to make an intelligent decision. But that’s one more reason why the candidates engage in them. They aren’t looking to inform you; they want to convince you. I suspect the candidates resort to mud-slinging because they really don’t have any idea how they are going to solve the problems of the day. So they have to convince the voters that their opponent is even worse.

Double Edged Sword

I’m having mixed feelings about this ‘being retired’ part of life.

After more than 40 years of working with other people, for other people, having them determine when I need to arrive at work, when I can leave, and what I have to be doing while I’m at work, I really love the freedom of determining my own schedule and working out my own time table. I no longer have to be at 5 to be at work by 7; now I get up between 7 and 8, and usually don’t have any place I need to be. I have some control over who I see, when I see them and what I do with them.

On the other hand, now that I have no one else to decide what I will do each day, I have to do that myself. After all, I’m retired, not dead. But I won’t last long if I don’t stay active and engaged, both physically and mentally.

So I decided to start my own business. I really didn’t have any money to spare to set it up, just a few dollars here and there, so it was going to involve a lot of hard work. And it does. Every morning when I get up, I have to decide what parts of my never-ending list of things to do I will tackle that day. And there are times when I wish I had somebody who would tell me which items have a higher priority, which items are worth my time and which are not.

So I plug along, learning new skills, and trying to make the best use of my time.

Still, when the mood hits me, I take the afternoon off and go see a movie. I think that might be the best part about being retired.

Working Around the Insurance Companies

A friend is on vacation this week, and she’s having fun, despite having to shave some of her medications every 2 or 3 days. Here’s the deal;

She has medical insurance through her former employer, the same medical insurance she had while she was working, but since she’s retired, the actual insurance company has changed. Apparently, this new company wants to ‘save’ every penny it can. No matter what the cost to the people who rely on them for help with medical bills.

My friend was diagnosed many, many years ago with chronic depression. After taking antidepressants and getting counseling for several years, she felt she had it under control and her doctor helped her wean herself from the antidepressants. She did well for over a decade.

Almost a year and a half ago, she realized the depression had snuck back into her life, and she asked her doctor to prescribe some antidepressants. There were some new ones available that he thought might be a good fit, the insurance company (at that time, the old one) had no problems approving them.

The insurance company changed, and the friend felt that particular antidepressant wasn’t working well, so her doctor changed her prescription. The insurance company threw up all sorts of road-blocks; ‘This drug is a level 2, and should not be prescribed without a clear indication this strong a drug is needed’, and who knew what else. Happily, her doctor and pharmacist argued with the insurance company on her behalf, and eventually, she got her new antidepressants.

All seemed to be going okay, although she still felt more depressed than not after several months. When she mentioned that to her doctor, he agreed to up her dose. She had just refilled her prescription based on the old dosage, and simply increased the number of pills she took each day from 2 to 3. Realizing her insurance company would need to ‘approve’ this higher dosage, she called her doctor’s office a FULL WEEK before she needed more pills so that the change could be made, and (she hoped), she would be able to refill the higher dosage without any problem.

She had to go for 3 days without any antidepressants before the insurance company finally approved the change in dosage. Once she started taking her pills again, it was a full week before she felt she could function.

When she realized she would be on vacation when it was time to refill her prescription, she cringed at the idea of fighting with the insurance company over an early refill. She would get home only 2 days AFTER she ran out of pills, but she didn’t want to go completely without for 2 days, and be unable to function for 4 or 5 days after that. So she’s been carefully skimming her dosage down to 2 pills every 3rd or 4th day, and taking the full dose of 3 pills the remaining days. On those days when she only takes 2 pills, she returns to her room a little earlier, in case some fogginess overtakes her as her drug level dips, and the following day, she may start her activities a little later, to give that drug level a chance to start raising.

She thinks she’s exercising some control, but the fact is, the insurance company has won. They have become the de facto death panels.